The Laramie Project

     Yes, there were some problems on the way and the rehearsal process was quite long, but we ended up with a great performance which moved a lot of people. And that's the whole point of theatre - to move, to touch. So yeah, I'm just very happy with it.

Being LGBT in different countries

     I found many of the discussions we had in the beginning of the rehearsal process really interesting. My growing up has been very safe in a small, northern Swedish town and I've never really noticed any of the hate that exists towards LGBT people. No, I'm not saying that all Swedes are pro LGBT, but I would say that we have a more liberal view on the matter in general. At least the people that surrounded me. So I never really noticed any of the hate, even though I knew that it existed (especially in smaller villages, older generations and such). Therefore it was quite surprising to hear what was brought up in the discussions. I know that some of my LGBT friends back home found it difficult to come out and stuff like that, but there seems to be a much bigger difference between being gay in Sweden and being gay in Scotland than what I thought.

  Picture from my hometown - Falun, Sweden

     For me it's never really been an issue, because I've always thought that it's obvious that being LGBT is perfectly okay and normal and I've never met anyone who's been treated badly just because of their sexuality, so I guess I just kind of assumed that everyone thought the same. Well, I was obviously wrong. There is so much hatred. Far too much. The question now is what we do to erase that hatred. 

     For most people it's just a matter of not knowing enough. What they don't know or understand scare them. 

     And I think it's a really good point that not only LGBT people should fight for their rights, because this is about human rights, and human rights concern everybody.

Secretary Clinton's Historic Speech on LGBT Human Rights - "Gay rights are human rights"

Gay rights are human rights and human rights are gay rights.

Director's notes

     The only personal note I was given during the rehearsals was that I had to work on my diction for the anonymous friend of Aaron McKinney. I tried my best to do that and wasn’t given the note again, which I hope was because my accent was alright rather than the director not wanting to have to give me the same note again.

     The general notes mostly had to do with the energy and focus level which were pretty bad for a long time. We also got some notes on projection later on in the rehearsal process. I tried my best to heighten the energy level by standing up quickly on my cues, projecting and just by putting a lot of energy in my characters. I admit that it was difficult sometimes to remain 100% focused when sitting on the side for a long time, but I did the best I could. When we didn’t have to follow the action in the scripts my focus was much better, because then it was easier to really listen to what was going on on stage. I think most of the class agreed with me on that.

     I also refrained from eating dairy products and drinking fizzy drinks and alcohol and I continued with daily exercise. This is something that I always try to do, though.

Foreperson

It’s not specified in the script whether the foreperson is a man or a woman, but it helped me to imagine the foreperson as a man. 

He is very smart, confident, well spoken, likes the attention, honoured to read the verdict for such a noticed criminal.

He has the nicest flat in town with windows covering the whole walls. Everything in his house is stylish and clean. He likes golf, whiskey and early mornings with a cup of espresso. 

He also has a beautiful, successfull wife who he loves to pieces.

Physical portrayal

As I was imagining him as a man I automatically tried to move like a man. A very confident man telling a very serious verdict to a lot of people. He uses his hands quite a lot and with confidence.

Vocal portrayal

His voice is deeper than mine. It's calm, strong, confident - just like himself. Due to the nature of the trial it's very serious and factual. You can tell that he likes the attention though.

Fred Phelp's minion

(watch all the parts of The Most Hated Family in America)

 

Newsperson 1

The newsperson is:  

- Young

- Driven

- Ambitious

- Professional

- Smart

- She works for CNN

Physical portrayal

She is very professional, good posture, talks to the camera, she doesn't let any of her personality shine through. I found a spot between two chairs in the audience where I placed the "camera".

Vocal portrayal

She talks with quite a deep, confident, easy-to-listen-to, well articulated, tv-voice. She is completely professional and reads only what she has prepared to say. It's an important subject, so her voice is very serious. 

Subtext

She wants to report the news. To tell the world what's going on in Laramie.  

 

Anonymous friend of Aaron McKinney

     The anonymous friend of Aaron McKinney is a cool guy in his twenties. He’s working for the railroads, which means he’s working with his hands all day and is quite strong. He’s not quite sure if it’s a temporary job or not, because he’s quite happy with it, he has many friends there and he doesn’t really know what else he would like to do. He doesn’t want to go to university, because he knows that he’s not bright enough. He is very down to earth and spends his weekends drinking beer with his friends. He doesn’t know anything about fashion but is quite into drawing. He’s originally from down south so he speaks in a southern drawl. 

     Jason Stackhouse from True Blood was one source of inspiration for this part. Jason is also a bit stupid, a bit slow, he talks with a southern drawl and his work is very physical (in the early series anyway). 

 

     My idea to wear the baseball cap was for it to cast a shadow over the characters eyes to make him more anonymous. But, that was changed so I had to wear it the other way around. Just by wearing the cap the other way around the character became much more of a gangster than I had planned for in the beginning. 

Relationships

Aaron McKinney - They have known each other for a long time as they have many friends in common. Aaron was the kind of guy who, whenever he's around more than one guy, puts on this big facade of being all cool and some kind of gangster, but you coulkd tell that he had really bad self confidence. Sometimes he would feel a bit sorry for Aaron, but mostly he felt that Aaron had his own stupidity to blame for all the trouble he ended up in. It seemed to him that Aaron always just pretended being somebody he was not. He thought he was all right though, he was a funny guy. But the whole thing about having a child and moving in together when you're only 21 - what's up with that? Crazy guy...

Kristen Price - Kristen was Aaron's girlfriend. He knew little of her, but had met her a couple of times and she seemed to be on the same mental level as Aaron. That is; stupid. 

 

Given circumstances

What time is it? It’s 1998, winter, in the afternoon.

What are the immediate circumstances? I’m on a break at work and have arranged to talk about Aaron McKinney with some people from the Tectonic Theatre Company. I haven’t really planned what to tell them about him, because I’m not the kind of person who would plan such things, but I do know that I don’t want my name to be mentioned. It’s not like I have anything to hide, I just don’t like the idea of my name being in a play and stuff.

The thing with this character is that I really wanted to take the opportunity talk to the audience, to engage them, so I didn't want to pretened like I was in a room somewhere talking to members of the company. I wanted to be there and then, on the stage, talking to that audience. 

 

Subtext

     In his monologue he wants to tell the theatre company a little bit about what he knows about Aaron and especially how shocked he was when he found out what had happened. It was just unreal that an ordinary guy that he had known for such a long time could do something like that.

Physical portrayal

     The anonymous friend of Aaron McKinney is a young, relaxed, “cool” guy. He’s used to work with his hands a lot and stands confident and steady on the ground. He doesn't really care what other people think of him and is very confident with himself. He's not very concerned with personal hygiene. He walks quite slowly and carefree.

Vocal portrayal

     The southern drawl was the most difficult part for me. Speaking in an American accent in general is difficult, so this was quite a challenge. Sometimes I felt like I had it, but especially during the shows I felt like my accent was just all over the place. It’s difficult though, because even though I’ve been watching True Blood trying to learn the accent, I need someone to tell me exactly what I’m pronouncing wrong to be able to improve. And unfortunately I don’t have a private voice coach.

     He says “like” a lot and struggles at points to find words (“...that’s why I was shocked when I heard this, I’m like…”). He also pronounces Tommy Hilfiger wrong which also indicates his southern accent and that he isn’t too familiar with designer brands. You can tell from the way he speaks, his choice of words, that he's not very high class and have been spending a lot of time with lower class people. 

     I tried to speak in a lower pitch for this character because he's a male. 

 

The Baptist Minister's Wife

     At first I saw the Baptist minister’s wife as a proud, patronising, cold hearted woman. However, after working on her a little bit I started to see another side of her. She was still proud and quite cold, but under a warm and friendly façade. Both Jean Lundegaard from Fargo and a friend’s mother became sources of inspiration.

    

     The Baptist minister’s wife is in her forties and married to the Baptist minister. She grew up in Laramie in a very religious family and one of her childhood dreams was to become a Baptist minister’s wife – a dream that was realised when she turned 20. She saved herself for marriage and was quite disappointed with the whole act of lovemaking and only engaged in it to please her husband and to have their two children. At the moment she and her husband don’t involve in any kind of physical contact and that’s the way it’s been for the last ten years. 

     The Baptist minister’s wife is a typical housewife. She gets up very early in the morning to prepare breakfast and afterwards she has far too much time to kill until dinner when her husband comes home. Therefore she indulge in watching the birds in her garden, keeping notes of what kind of birds they are, gardening, shopping for rare antiques in the local shops (preferably pretty porcelain figurines), spying on neighbours (even though she would never call it spying), cooking, baking, tidying and pottery classes. She does anything she can to keep herself busy, because whenever she gets time over to reflect on her life she is very easily brought down by feelings of loneliness.

Relationships

The Baptist minister - The Baptist minister is her husband. She is incredibly proud of him and they share the same opinions on almost everything. He’s rarely at home and when he is, he is usually in his study. They make sure to eat dinner together each night to discuss what’s going on in the city though. They’re relationship is practical and there’s no romance. She does miss romance, but knows that romance only exists in dreams and sees herself as happily married. 

Matthew Shepard – She didn’t know Matthew personally but had heard of him. She strongly disagrees with his choice of lifestyle and thinks that he partially had himself to blame for what happened. Beying homosexual is unnatural and it should not be legal, but unfortunately it is. Hopefully this will teach other confused young men what happens if you chose that kind of lifestyle. 

Amanda Gronich - She has never heard of Amanda before, but she seems very polite. Even though it's a bit annoying getting even more questions about the whole Matthew Shepard thing, she doesn't really mind.

Given circumstances

What time is it? It’s in the early afternoon in 1998, winter.

Where am I? In my house, in the kitchen.

What surrounds me? Kitchen utensils, cooker, fridge, freezer, a window with floral curtains, porcelain figurines on the window sill, family photos on the walls, an old clock that’s ticking quite loud and a lovely smell from the buns in the oven.

What are the immediate circumstances? I was just washing the dishes after baking when the phone rings. When I’ve done the dishes I’m going to wait until the buns are ready, maybe do a crossword in the meantime, and then I'm going into town for some food shopping and later on I’m going to continue working on my embroidery. The turned on oven makes the kitchen very warm.

  

Subtext

She really just wants this whole Matthew Shepard business to be over. It's drawn far too much attention from the press and they just won't leave her husband alone. She just wants everything to go back to normal. 

Physical portrayal

She is proud and has a good posture. Her parents always made sure that she was sitting and walking correctly. Her head is held high and her steps are determined. She’s a neat person and therefore folds the dishcloth while talking. 

Vocal portrayal

Her voice is clear and a little bit higher than my own. After everything that has been going on you can hear a little bit of tiredness in her voice. She has very fixed views about certain things and you can hear that through the way she doesn’t hesitate when speaking. She’s brief, factual and to the point. 

Uta Hagen's acting class

The whole thing about drying my hands and folding the dishcloth while talking was something I wanted to try out after watching Uta Hagen's acting class. I wanted to make sure that I didn't put to much focus on exactly what I was doing, but just do it while talking, like you would in normal life. I started observing myself to see what I do when I talk on the phone and actually noticed that if I have something like a cloth or a piece of clothes in my hand I automatically start folding it. 

 

 

 

Acting is...

     "Acting is standing up naked and turning around very slowly." Rosalind Russell

     And that is what I believe. I don't believe in hiding behind a mask, behind a character, I believe in exposing your soul through a character.

Fear and Misery of the Third Reich

     A few days ago I saw the other group's production of Fear and Misery of the Third Reich. I thought it was very good to see it as I feel like I learned something about acting from it. Or rather, I was reminded of things I had thought about before and they became much clearer to me.

     The thing was that actingwise some of them really stood out. And I was just thinking...why? Well, not only did they stand out because they meant what they said and had high energy, but also because they lived in the moment, they reacted to what was going on around them and they hade a strong ensemble sense. They had stage presence.

     I had a discussion with a friend about this and my strong desire to be able to just stop thinking so much and just live in the moment. He recommended a Physical Ensemble Theatre Workshop which is supposed to be very liberating and help me with all that. So next week end I'm doing that workshop and hopefully it will help me!

Until then I'm going to work on my characters and decide really clear and strong senses of what they want to achieve.

The American accent

     I have struggled with the American accent, but I feel like I'm getting more and more comfortable talking it. But I'm still very unsure and it's so frustrating, because I feel like I focus so much on the accent that I forget the acting! Not good, not good at all... So tomorrow me and Miriam are going to our voice teacher Steven to get help. It doesn't work just copying the accent from tv-series, you need to be told which sounds you make wrong and how to correct them, as well. I just don't want to sound like a complete idiot when I go on stage, plus the American accent is VERY useful to know as an actor.

Motivation

     The class has been drained from motivation. It so sad, because I used to be so psyched about this and I have during these months developed a passion for fighting for human rights. There are so many small things that have irritated people and there has been quite a lot of negative energy. And I'm not just blaming all the others, I know I have contributed to this negative energy by being whiny as well, so I think all of us need to help each other more, spread more positive energy, hug, give feedback, be honest...just do everything we can to contribute to heighten the motivation. Because we can do so much better than this!

Lucy Thompson biography

     I few days ago I completed quite a thorough biography on Lucy Thompson. It was really interesting and I found quite a lot of information I could use, but it still gave me a lot of liberty to play with the character. Finding psychological reasons why Lucy Thompson was the way she was, why her daughter developed a drinking problem and why Russell Henderson acted the way he did was the most interesting part of it. Psychology has always interested me and as I love to come up with little dramas it was a task that suited me. The picture I've painted might be completely wrong, but at least I know now exactly who I am and what I want when I go up on stage.

I think knowing what you want, why you want it, where you've come from, where you are and who you are are a few of the most important aspects to know whenever you go up on stage.

Cindy T. Dixon

     I'm sitting and reading articles from the New York Times' article archive and after reading a few and comparing dates I realised that Lucy Thompson's daughter - Russell Henderson's mother - Cindy T. Dixon froze to death exactly three months before her son's trial.
     Conclusion: Lucy Thompson did not have an easy winter/spring that year.
     Oh My Goodness... I really don't know what to say more than that. The plea she makes to the judge during the trial becomes in some ways more powerful. Her daughter has just been taken from her and now she might lose Russell as well. The difference is that Russell committed that horrible crime and would be taken away from her by law, whilst her daughter froze to death.
     No, Lucy Thompson was not having a good time.

Lucy Thompson

     A picture of Russell Henderson with his grandmother Lucy Thompson:

 

Blocking of act 3 and first run

     Last Wednesday we continued blocking act three and did a run of the whole show. The run went okay even though it was very slow and people didn't always know their cues (I can't say that I knew all of my cues, but I'm learning!), but I'm starting to get a better picture of what the show is going to be like, and I'm looking forward to when we've tighten it up and made it all run more smoothly. It's going to be quite an experience, both to watch and perform!

     I really need to work on my subtext and what I want with each line for each person. I wasn't very alert last Wednesday (as I had had a very emotionally draining audition the day before) so acting out lines with a vague subtext didn't exactly work. I need to make it strong and clear so I can perform it even when I feel less alert.

     I found a whole archive of articles from the New York Times from when Matthew Shepard was killed and it's such a good source for information! For example I found out that Russell Henderson's mother, Lucy Thompson's daughter, froze to death whilst drunk.

Uniting

This is just some evidence that I've done units on my lines.
Some of them are quite blurry, do you need better pictures, JC?